DELOR.ES.DEFACTO

Late October. Early November. The temperature drops into the 60s and it reminds me of:

Smoking cloves outside on the back porch at John C’s house even though it was freezing.
Driving in my friend’s old Sentra with the heat up and the windows down to smoke on the way downtown.
Ordering breakfast from room service at the Holiday Inn next to Angel’s Diner.
That black fuzzy jacket that I made Dave hang up in the DJ booth every night.
Standing outside of Chuck’s with Stefan to smoke.
Walking fast in a short skirt because it would be hot once we got inside the club.
Driving to Texas and shivering the whole way while singing to “Siamese Dream” and making the windows fog up.
That cul-de-sac where we heard people started getting caught by the police so we had to stop going to.
That mustard yellow cardigan I use to wear to school.
Drinking cocoa at Waffle House.
Sitting outside the bookstore at UCF on those cold brick bench things.
Our friends’ wedding and sitting outside in the courtyard at their hotel every night that whole week.
Sitting on the ground at Wall Street Plaza and remembering to wear tights underneath my jeans.
Yab Yum.
The nurses costume I wore when I was skinny and realized why people liked vinyl even though it made you sweat.
The first time I saw the “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” video.
Leaving the windows open at night so the sheets felt cool.
My hands getting dry in between my fingers.
Ana and Jason.
Standing in line at the parking meter forever.
The people who died in the fall: two suicides.
Walking on the golf course outside if N’s house.
Toilet papering B’s car.
Wanting to be outside.
Wearing long sleeved shirts, wool skirts or pinafores with over the knee socks or tights.
The blueberry coffee and the maple rum coffee and the gingerbread coffee at 7-11.
Being in the mall in Ohio with my best friend since second grade and telling her how I didn’t like Christmas anymore.
Him. In that hoodie.
Going out every night, hoping that something good would finally happen.
Kit Kat.
The girl in my writing class saying “what is this?” in reference to the sudden cold wind one morning.
Wearing a blue windbreaker on the playground.
My parents putting up Christmas lights on Thanksgiving day.
Going to Church Street every night.
Crying outside the theater for hours after watching “Forrest Gump.”
Watching “Natural Born Killers” and “Pulp Fiction” a million times.
Blue Room and the blue salt on the margaritas.
My stupid dorm roommate fighting with her boyfriend every morning.
Dutch in his sweater vest.
My youth.
My teens.
My twenties.

Photo credit: stephgum32807