I finally got accepted for publication!

After going through the voting process for the school’s lit journal, I received a preliminary list of those submissions that were voted on; mine was not. However, the editor in chief said that we could suggest two more that weren’t on the list and, of course, I voted for myself again. (I’m starting to feel like a band geek who wants to be prom queen.) What got me the most was not only did no one, out of the eight on the editors panel, aside from myself even cared about the five stories that I wrote, but they chose the hackneyed potty humor or the overly sympathetic memoirs over my work that I’ve always tried to have as actual literature. (I never even wanted to go the chick lit route.)

But the editor in chief, today, said that one of my stories that I had suggested, was on the borderline (whatever that means) so she would put it in this coming edition. I had chosen two stories, on my last vote, that were the ones I was most satisfied and proud of myself after finishing. The one they picked was the one that was a “risk” (as my professor would say) so maybe he had a hand in that selection. Whatever the reason, I’m glad I got my work put to some public use, just as I always wanted it to.

It’s a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. I’m not going to let the fact that it’s a small college’s literary journal that I “work” for, stamp out my enthusiasm from finally having what I want of my future, to come a little closer to my present.

Photo credit: fsse-info

Good Lord, this has been forever since I’ve written an update. Oh well, as I said last time, there’s nothing that poignant or relatively memorable to mention lately.

I finished up my submissions and editing and judging on submissions duties for my school’s lit magazine. I have a handful of stories I sent in (yes, I voted for myself) and a couple of book reviews. Even if one story gets added to this Spring/Summer edition, that will be one small step for my writing kind. At least I got everything done for the magazine that I said I would. There’s, of course, the matter of my actual classes though and I haven’t quite put everything together yet. But at least financial aid finally came through with my tuition money so I’m not longer getting late payment notices in the mail.

Still no work but I keep sending out the silly resumes. I read on Orlando Jobs that a lot of people are doing the same thing I’m doing and posting their resumes to every online job site they come across and it’s not working. While it’s not good news to know that all this pointless effort has been exerted for months now, it is nice to know that I’m not the only one out here who is getting sick and tired of getting scam replies, or no replies at all.

But with this time on my hands I’ve been reading and working and trying my hardest to just get caught up on all the things I want to do with my time. Cleaning has been one of my main objectives as well. It’s sad that, honestly, not having to have your life wasted day by day, working for someone else, worrying about someone else’s meaningless rules and guidelines, and having your life for yourself isn’t as easy as it really should be. Hopefully once I have my degree in, I can work for some online colleges as well as adjunct for the local community colleges and then I’ll at least be working in my desired field. While the idea of having a job that lacks a lot of responsibility, like a secretary, does sound awfully nice, I probably would, as most people say they do, get bored with it really quick. But, again, all of this time of running around, having complete freedom to do what I want; I can see why people opt for being poor and true to themselves, or, hell, marrying for money, just so they can stay home and only worry about themselves from 9-5. Too bad we have to rely on someone else to hand us over some cash every two weeks, otherwise we’d all be a hell of a lot happier.

Anyway, the brush fires, and the wind, and the high pollen count and the fact that it’s now sping time, are all making my allergies kick into high gear. I’ve had that gross, sicky head and stomach feeling all day because of all of this stuff in the air.

My parents are on their way back from Ohio so I’m sure coming through the state will be oodles of fun since the traffic was, last time I watched the news, at a parking lot stand-still in some places. Very nice. I can’t wait for my parents to get back. I am totally ready for an excuse to buy a belated Mother’s Day cake. Those two mini cupcakes I had earlier just didn’t cut it (but I’m sure they helped my stomach, huh?)

And while I’m at it, I’ll mention that Lost has been really good and I’m liking the two theories that either Jacob is related to everyone on the island, or is just the manifestation of whoever goes into the cabin (meaning “Jacob” tells them what they already know or want to hear.) I’m going to cry this week, I’ve already decided. After seeing the trailer where the plane door opens to see people waiting for them at home; you know they’re going to have all that dramatic music and will make it as emotional as possible. I love that show! Now that Charlie is dead or whatever (I’m still waiting for him to come swimming to shore one of these days), I’ve thrown all of my love and devotion to Locke as my favorite character (for many different reasons, of course.) But, nonetheless, I still can’t get that image of Jack without a scar, running around in a towel with his matador physic. Television just doesn’t get any better than that.

Speaking of which, I have to mention the two new discoveries for the Brit Guy collection: Jonas Armstrong, (good name, by the way), who is the new Robin Hood (where has he been these past two years; I’ve just now seen the ads, and the show, on BBC America) and Ben Barnes (another good name), who is Prince Caspian (I didn’t think he was that great looking at first and was actually kinda disappointed that they chose him, but after seeing him on an interview, I totally changed my mind.)

Photo credit: roman

Since I don’t really have anything to report in a blog update, I snagged this picture and decided to make, yet another, random list of things to mention:

– After watching The Shape of Things to Come last week, I can see how they’re making it seem as if Sawyer is going to die, along with Claire and, hence, the baby, Aaron will have to be taken with Hurley, Kate and Jack. For the first time, I actually felt a tad sorry for Ben and I loved how they’re (seemingly?) tying up some loose ends as far as how things happened and what exactly the black smoke is. (Time travelling black hole that brings animals, people, etc. back and forth through time. If you get stuck in a black hole, you get eaten up into oblivion.) But Sawyer simply can’t die and I’m sure he’s going to hide from the “bad guys” and find Locke while everyone else leaves the island.

– Something Nice Back Home, tomorrow’s episode, doesn’t have any info online yet, but according to my cable box info: “Juliet and Kate must work together to save Jack when his health is seriously compromised; something goes wrong as Sawyer, Claire, Miles and Aaron head back to the beach.” Again, they’re trying to hint at Sawyer having something happen to him so he may or may not die along with Claire. I wonder whose flashback / flashforward will be the focus for this episode. I’m guessing Claire since she’s probably going to be killed off soon.

– Speaking of what happened when and how everyone is connected, Dominic Monaghan was on MadTV with a “Domi-Lost” skit. It’s not as funny as SNL would do (because I never watch MadTV and don’t care for anyone on the show as far as I’ve ever in the past) but I’m glad I happened to see that this was on. This other skit was wrong but funny as hell.

– Aside from Lost (which I was so glad to have back, by the way), we only have four more episodes of The Tudors left. I must say, I am very happy with the character change that Henry is taking on. I like that, despite his conscience telling him that killing More is wrong, he is so bloody arrogant and hot headed, that he has to go along with his original ideas, just so he won’t admit that he was wrong. And I can totally see how he’s going to see the opportunity to change his mind, without taking blame, after Katherine dies and killing Anne off will give him a fresh start in the legitimate, male heir, please England, love me again, department. I also like how Jonathan Rhys Meyers is getting a bit bigger and taking on the shape of a Greek statue. No complaints here. I just wish his eyes didn’t make him look like he’d been snatched by aliens from time to time.

– In personal news, nothing, I repeat, nothing else has been going on. I got a call from a place I applied for as a secretary last week. The guy went over my information and said he’d call back but never did. {shrug} So all I can count on is the school loan money that will come supposedly by the end of summer (which isn’t much of a relief since we haven’t even started summer yet.) But I have stuff to do for my grad program’s literature magazine so that will give me the much needed incentive to get the work that I’ve been putting off done in a couple of weeks.

– Since things have been so boring lately, it’s hard to want to be jazzed about what I’m reading and working on. I mean, I have fleeting moments of glee when I come up with some interesting plot twist or opinion on the author I’ve pick up from the shelf (the library has been sending me bills already because one of my shelves is full of three month overdue books.) But all in all, it’s a very humdrum kind of routine I have around here. If there were anything exciting, I’d be more inclined to discuss something other than random acts of television watching.

– I did clean up the sidebar on my blog so that the widgets wouldn’t (presumably) slow the site down. I can’t stand how the new Wordpress widget editor is set up though. You’re supposed to drag and drop them where you want them in the sidebar but, instead, they run off to the bottom or top of the screen once you unclick them in the spot you want them to be in. It’s like trying to color within the lines with an optical mouse. They’re only so much hand-eye coordination that I can handle at a time, especially when I’m doing a trial and error system to see what script codes will work in the widget text boxes.

So anyway, that’s all I have to put on the electronic blog table right now. I am sure I’ll think of something interesting in the next couple of days but until then, I’m going back to the television, the bookshelf, the legal pad and the Word files. There’s so much I still have to get done.

And this is nice. Now that Keith told me that I “should get rid of the UTW plugin, as it doesn’t work in any version of WP past 2.3 anyway…” in order for CTC to work, I lost all of my tags. Very nice. I just had to reload and activate UTW again so my post tags would come back. Now they’re in my post editor but they don’t show up in the preview. Sigh…what’s happening with this?

Photo credit: Rolling Stone

Here I am again. Unmotivated, unsuccessful, unpublished, undesirable, uneducated, unmarketable, unemployed me.
I applied for at least 50 jobs online today. The only phone calls I got back were from the phone company who had to change my service for me because I can’t afford frivolous things like Caller ID, some credit card collection agencies and my mother.
Sometimes the creditors even like to call my mother to in hopes of either finding me or driving my whole family (even more?) insane.
I even went as far as to send some applications in the mail (because I’m not snotty enough to dismiss potential employment from someone who doesn’t even have an email address). One place had me fill out the paper application for each job again even though I’ve done this, and sent my resume / cover letter / transcript / references file to them in bulk this year. So there I was, printing out a paper application that I got online, mind you, from a higher educational system at that, and had to hand write all my information out, then write the job codes in pencil, scan and fax each page (a long distance call by the way…the phone company pointed that out when I swore to them that I just needed local phone service.) Then I had to erase the job code, write the new one, scan and fax again. I did this for about 5 jobs. Then there were the online applications that only by the grace of God and modern technology allowed me to “quick apply” for each one that said anything about “receptionist” and “Orlando”.
In some ways it was a productive day. Don’t they say that the hardest job is finding a job? And they probably said that before the wonders of online resume building.

And how do I stay so positive, you may ask? Well, I have finally figured out that all this time, as cliche as it sounds, chocolate and soap operas does make a girl feel good. Granted I had reduced fat Oreo cookies (4 a day) and watch The Tudors but all in all, it’s something that just helps make the emotional wishy-washy stuff melt away.
And actually it’s helped my weight too. I don’t eat much as far as nutrition goes, but I stay very satisfied with milk and cookies and an occasional peanut butter sandwich (reduced fat on low calorie bread, of course) makes the cravings for “bad things” not so apparently at midnight when I’m trying to get myself to sleep. I’ve also noticed that the old fun of chronic heartburn decides to come back early in the morning when I haven’t eaten anything for twelve hours. I swear, that alone made me have nightmares about being at my old job. Last night I pictures myself at a desk, having to fill out an application saying I’d willingly give it another year as a teacher with my administration all looking down on me in glee to have me as a torture victim again. The English Renaissance could have included that mental abuse in their attempts at punishment and confession. {shudder}

Anyway, it’s freaking freezing outside as my fellow Floridians know. It’s 61 out and I have the heater running, soup in my belly and flannel penguin pajamas on. Weren’t we getting excited for Spring last week?
And, I still have work to do, what’s new? If any kind of effort produced a mild hint of progress, I think I’d be way more into writing again. For now, everything just sits here, untyped, unsubmitted, unedited or unfinished. I recall a time, some months ago, when I worked a lot. I’m trying to get back into the full swing of working constantly but a million voided hours does not equal a million reasons to keep trying. (Unfortunately.)

I did, however, take thirty minutes to write an ode to all the crazy guys I’ve ever had in my life. I didn’t realize it before, but most of the guys I’m into are 5′11″ to 6′3″. And I always said that size didn’t matter. Hhmm… I sent my “Crazy Guy Timeline” in an email to Laura per our “men who are losing their hair should just go ahead and shave it” conversation. Yup, I enjoy being a girl.

So for the next episode in the sitcom that is my life…

I went to my parents’ for dinner because they promised to greet me with pizza. I had a small one to myself and I ate the whole thing. That, some fat free chips and a cup of apple sauce was all I had today so I’m not guilty for eating so much. It was good and it was worth every single calorie and fat gram I ingested from each slice.
I sat around and helped Dad set up his new scanner and then decided to take a trip to a couple of stores just to walk off some of my dinner. After walking through Staples for a while and getting irritated that the only wide rule, hard cover notebook they had was $5 (Why does everyone want college ruled anymore? It’s so…Limiting.) I then decided to go to Target.
I look through the clothes for a while and hear a girl yelling at her boyfriend. “Oh you want me to lower my voice? You don’t want me to make an f-ing scene? Well I’ll make an f-ing scene if you’re going to f-ing talk to me like that…” Blah, blah, blah. And I didn’t look up to see what the couple looked like but from the girl’s words and actions, I guessed she was some 20 something twit who had no idea how to act in public or how to keep a guy’s pride in tact. (When they act like an ass, either let it go or wait until you’re in private, then let him have it.) Now, mind you this was 8:30 at night, so there were plenty of people in the store to hear this crap and Lord knows that girl wanted all of the negative attention that she could get.
After getting an earful of that, I listen to a dad, whose son has asked him “Why can’t I have this toy?”, reply to his kid with, “Because I’m the ruler of your life and I always will be and don’t you forget it.” I hear some guy mocking his girlfriend’s choice in clothes and I think to myself, “Dear Lord, this is why I don’t want to get married…”
However, I wander through the shoes, then the media section and find Jack White on the cover of Rolling Stone and all hope is restored. (Jack White equals a gold star day.) So I’m looking at the magazine, minding my own affair, and the stupid girl who was fighting with her boyfriend ten minutes earlier is on her cell phone, talking at the top of her lungs to one of her friends, while she stands in the aisle, breaking my concentration. She says in the phone the following:
“I was going to break up with him two weeks ago and I should have and now he’s going to f-ing dump me after my f-ing husband just died!” (I was guessing a prison brawl or an over-dose.) “How can he f-ing treat someone like that in public? I’ve done some bad things but I at least f-ing care about people. It’s karma. He’ll get exactly what he f-ing deserves. I’m going to wear my party dress and paint the town red and he’ll f-ing see what he missed out on…”
And here comes the best part. For those of you who don’t know, one of the stadiums where they do Spring Training for Major League Baseball is around here.
“I can’t believe I gave up a night hanging out with the pitcher for The Nationals to hang out with a guy who dumped me…I know he’s not good looking but I should give him a shot. I always date rock star, loser guys. Like, oh you have a job and a car, sorry can’t help you. But the pitcher will be in town for another few weeks because he lives in Washington…”"

When I called Fran to recount this story to her, we laughed about this part hysterically. I looked at the girl a few times and she wasn’t anything more than some white trash girl who would some day end up auditioning for a part on Rock of Love. Whatever delusions that girl was under, I seriously hope she seeks help and soon.
Oh yeah, she also mentioned to her friend that she was going to “go home to my kid, read my book and remember who I am.” Uh huh. Good luck with that one. I can’t even imagine being that crazy. At least that guy dumped her when he did. As Fran said, “I would have left her at Target too!”

But at least this made my evening a bit interesting. I’ve still had the stiff neck and the lack of motivation to get my work done. At least today, making myself ditch the nap for a shower and venture around town proved worthy. Now I have an amusing story, a full belly, a visit with my parents (that didn’t drive me insane), a good conversation with my friend, a magazine to entertain me (too bad I’m too much of a fuddy duddy now to cut the pics out and put on my fridge next to Jonathan Rhys Meyers and myself; we look good together) and some super cute bathroom decor. I ditched the black and white motif for the time being because they had a stack of the ever enticing clearance items. I bought a shower curtain that is white cotton with green sketches of bath items on it; duckies, toothbrushes, soaps, tubs, razors, etc. Then one each of the pastel hand towels that match, as well as the package of washcloths to complete the collection. All in all; approximately $5 and totally springtime appropriate.

I’ve been noticing lately, with the weather change, that I’m recalling the times of early spring when I was a kid. Isn’t it funny how you can walk out into a warm, sunny morning and remember have the same feeling you did when stepping out onto the playground after lunch?

Speaking of which, yes, the title of the post is from a Jem and the Holograms song.

Photo credit: rborja

WP 2.5 and I have begun our new relationship. I wasn’t going to bother upgrading for a while since I’d heard some really negative comments about the new version, but thanks to Shane, I went ahead and took on the modern way of blogging.

So far, so good. I’m with everyone else on the whole layout having an oddly large font scheme and the tabs not really being set up the way they should be (the way we’re use to them being in the older versions). But it’s okay. It’s just different and I’m not use to how everything is set up.

I’m not too keen on all of the “write” post options being underneath the text box, nor do I like that I have to customize my editor toolbar.

Now, can anyone explain to me why my “Name” text jumps down a line for the comments, once the page loads? So annoying…

I’ve been sick for a week and I have tons of work to do. I keep trying to sit here and type up all of my stories and the rest of the “novella” (if that’s what we’re calling it these days) but I have done nothing more than lie in bed, lie on the couch, take ibuprofen, Pamprin, asprin and apply various sports creams to my neck. (Asprin and Tiger Balm seem to be the only thing that’s done some sort of miraculous ease.) My neck is stiff, I haven’t felt “normal” or myself at all and every day I get up in the morning thinking I’m going to finally make some headway. Sadly, I’ve only scratched the surface on the list of stuff that needs to be pounded out on the computer. So I’ve emailed my professor, given him some of the work I’ve gotten done and am heading back to bed.
I’m guessing the stress of not working and the pain of not be able to work has become some vicious cycle. Does anyone else sit there and think they can logical reason with their mind that their body hasn’t slumped into a pitiful slump for days on end? Too bad that I can’t talk myself out of feeling bad so I can get all the words out and be done with the project for the time being. All of it is late and it makes the pain and the stress even worse; yet another vicious cycle.

I also wonder too, if I’m the only one who thinks there are only so many words that I am capable of conjuring and, thus, making my stories stagger in limitations. I feels as though I have a box of words that I can use and reuse so any difference in plot of theme is told the same. But I suppose that’s the beauty of having a specific voice or a particular style or whatever it is that keeps us locked in our own personal limitations. Somehow having a “unique” voice isn’t so dazzling when it can’t extend beyond the corners and go to the places you want it to go.

Photo credit: deadeyebart

All right, I know this post is way later than usual but since Lost is on hold for a month, I didn’t see much point in going into much more musing detail. The sixth episode explained plenty and confirmed a couple of theories. Micheal is the man on the boat, fine. We all pretty much were handed that spoiler on a paper plate. Then “a man named Widmore” staged the whole wreckage footage, paid all the money to unearth bodies and buy an airplane just to sink it in a trench too far and too expensive to ever recover. Two points for me for.
What I don’t understand is how Desmond got to the island years ago, with a boat given to him by Libby way before this whole Oceanic crash happened. How the hell long has Widmore been keeping tabs on this island?
For the next few episodes, when the “war” starts and they show how everyone gets off the island, I’m still saying that Claire’s getting the axe from the show too. In the new promo for the rest of season four, it shows Hurley holding Aaron and saying something about Claire. (”Did you check Claire’s house?” Is that what he says?) Anyway, it indicates that she’s going to die, hence why Aaron is taken off the island by Kate.
I am sort of confused why they killed Rousseau off. I mean, can’t they use her in a lot of the past and present explanations? Someone said maybe they’ll just use her story in a flashback through Alex’s perspective or something. I didn’t love her character or anything, I’m just surprised that they took away someone who has been on the island for eons and could really help them out with explanations. Whatever.
I watched the first episode again too and I still want to know why it wasn’t only Hurley who could see Charlie. The patient, Lewis, comes up and says, “I’d be careful if I were you, there’s a guy over there staring at you.” What’s that about anyway? You have to be crazy to be able to see dead people? Hhmm…
I wanted to mention that I’m annoyed with the whole time change on the episodes now. Didn’t they figure out last time that everyone wants it on at 9 instead of 10. Why can’t they ever learn? Now we’ll just have to tape it and watch it over the weekend or something. So freaking annoying. Good job, ABC, way to piss a million viewers off. Again!

Now, for not Lost stuff…
I finished up three stories this week that I wanted to use for my final manuscript. However, I haven’t sat here and typed everything up yet. I had the longer piece I haven’t gone back to yet and, as usual, I keep putting it off for as long as I can. The thing is, with these online classes we’re all working on our own and occasionally talking to the professor or one another. So far I’ve talked to one girl in my class who said that she’s taking an incomplete for the course because she hasn’t been able to work on her manuscript right now. I emailed the professor earlier this week and made sure he knew that I planned on getting some more “editable” stuff to him as soon as possible. He just said “okay” and that was that. I don’t even know if we have an extra week in here for Spring Break or when the class is officially over and when I’ll have to talk to my professor again on the phone. {Shrug} But I plan on sending him what new things I type up this weekend and send it to him. I’m just not sure that all in all, everything will be at the right page length. Sigh…

Plus, tonight I’m going out to see my long lost friends who chose a family over all night clubbing. Go figure. But the thing is, Fran is with her husband in Tampa and won’t be back until later tonight (I’m on dog sitting duty, by the way, and have already been over there last night and this morning) so she won’t be going with me. So later on I’m going to have to call my friends up and see when they’re getting downtown and where they plan on parking because I really don’t feel like taking on the scary parking garage on my own.

What else did I have to mention? Oh yes. The Raconteurs put out a new video featuring the cutest guy on the planet. (I swear, I’d love to take that boy home and make him a sandwich.) I’d like to buy the new album but I have to be thrifty and keep my petty cash for silly things like bills and food. I just can’t do it right now. I wonder when they’ll finally schedule an Orlando show date. Last time it was sometime around my birthday so by early fall they should come around.
The Tudors: Season Two has started but I have to wait until Fran can sit and watch it with me. Maybe we’ll exchange this as our regular Thursday night ritual. Hhmm…
Billy Corgan sued Virgin.
And She Wants Revenge plays in Orlando on May 22nd.

Other than that, I think I’m out of things to really talk about right now. Nothing really interesting has happened except for writing, watching TV and listening to music. Same ‘ol same ‘ol. At least now I can end the weekend with a blog update and a night out. Gold star!

Photo credit: lostpedia

UPDATE: While I’m posting this today, the entry was written last Thursday. I just got hung up in my holiday social events so I didn’t get to post it untli now. I’ll write another one to really update my blog…

Saturday, as a special treat by my second family, I went to the Tampa Bay Lightning game. While sports are not my thing, going to a game proved to be quite fun. When asked who I wanted to win, I replied, “I don’t know. I am going because I was promised cute hockey players and hot chocolate.” That was reason enough for me.
It ended up being a really nice day; it was warm and breezy. We got downtown early, had dinner, walked around the pavilion before going into the game. I agreed with Fran that number four was defiantly the hot one. The pictures I took were from the nose bleed section with the digital zoom on 16x, so while they are good color wise, they aren’t that clear. But still I gave it a shot to see what my precious little Canon SD850 IS can do in such conditions.

From my Firestats, I found it interesting that these are the things that people end up at my site due to the following search terms:
Justin Timberlake: (402)
icicles: (387)
Evangeline Lily: (302)
Dominic Monaghan: (266)
Dave Chapelle (spelled wrong): (115)
Courtney Love: (85)
Owen Wilson (even though I only wrote one past about him): (79)
Orlando Bloom: (51)
She Wants Revenge “This is Forever”: (43)

I also have been spending the past couple of days messing with my post at BAYB about how Sphinn cancelled the two accounts I tried to set up, without reason. It was frustrating to read all the comments that kept pointing fingers at me claiming that I was some evil, bad spammer who was trying to use the system for profit. But after getting some user comments, apparently there are rules that I should know about already (that don’t pertain to any other similar link networking site other than Sphinn) and they didn’t feel it necessary to contact me or respond to my numerous email queries about my account. Whatever. Now I have socializing bookmark capabilities to every service but Sphinn.

So tomorrow is Good Friday and tonight is Lost. Then there’s Easter Sunday and whatever all that may entail for the day. I still have to figure out where I’m going and what I’m doing the next four days. That’s why I decided to post this entry now while I had time to sit here and type away about random stuff.

I went to another interview on Monday and seeing as it was a library clerk job at the university, I wore my most capable looking outfit, hair in a bun, sensible (Sketchers) shoes and a pretty, spring colored blouse (that still had green for St. Patrick’s Day and black to go with everything within the pattern.) So I get there and try to talk myself up about how I can totally do this minimum wage job because I’ve been involved with the university, education and books for years now. But maybe I didn’t give the magic words. All I know is, the two guys who interviewed me looked like they went to the club and I could have impressed their tattooed, nose ringed, black clad affiliations better had I worn my hair in Princess Leia buns and put on my White Stripes shirt. I even took off the gunmetal gray nailpolish that morning so I wouldn’t look “gothic” as any profession, mainly education, sorely frowns upon. Sheesh…so much for going with my instincts. Plus I won’t hear back from them for up to three more weeks anyway so I think I’m going to have to go to a place in town and sign up as a telemarketer (yes, I know, I’ve become part of the system I’ve worked my whole life to denounce) but my school loans for my “next pay period” won’t come in until August (when I only have one class left, mind you) so I can’t fight the system anymore. I have no money for rent or utilities, let alone the tuition that will get me out of the system’s cycle. Utterly ridiculous. I swear, this country does not give a damn about poor people, even if they are trying to better themselves. I mean, what happened to all that hoopla we were always told when we were first going into college about how we don’t have to worry about the cost of tuition if we’re trying to get a higher education. Obviously the education doesn’t make a lick of difference as I sit here with a Bachelor’s degree from a state university, more than 20 graduate credit hours, a retirement plan, a decent employment history and a huge chunk of my initial loan debts paid off. What the hell else can I do? I never expected my educational and career field to give me anything than the basic comforts of life, but this is ridiculous.

Anyway, enough of my tangents for the day. If I don’t get back tomorrow about Lost then I will as soon as possible. Happy Easter, ya’ll!

Photo credit: deloresdefacto

http://www.deloresdefacto.com/?p=76

After watching Ji Yeon and distinctly hearing Yunjin Kim on The View saying that after her episode this week we would know who the Oceanic Six are, here are my theories:

The Six are: Jack, Kate, Sayid, Hurley, Sun and Aaron.
Claire dies, standing to reason why she would allow Kate to take the baby off the island. Also, by making Aaron have Kate’s last name and portraying him to be her son, he cannot be adopted by the couple who was to meet Claire in California after the crash. Jack is Aaron’s uncle and can’t have any connection to him to protect his identity in correlation with Claire.
Lock and Sawyer are alive and stay behind with whoever else is alive when the Six get off the island.
The funeral that Jack goes to is for Matthew Abaddon. Jack starts freaking out and acting crazy because now that Ben and Sayid have finally killed off The Economist who has made some deal for them to keep the secret that there are still survivors on the island, Jack feels that he should now go back.
Charles Widmore is out to protect the validity of his new found money making project and wants to “exploit this island”. He can’t do that with trouble makers in the way, so he’s sent people to clear out and cover up whatever they know about the history and events of the place. Desmond is there because Penny’s dad knew he would wreck there. Putting him on an island where he could keep an eye on him, and away from his daughter, didn’t work out as well as it should have once he found out about a plane wreck that would have survivors on it. Hence a big budget fake plane wreck to flash all over a corrupt media report. Once Penny got the message from Charlie, her Dad knew the jig was up, so he sent the little freighter unit to explore the place. The main objective is, as Ben claims, to kill everyone on this island, just as he did before. Ben’s out for revenge, that’s why he wanted Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Locke and Sayid to be on his side to begin with, so they can help him get rid of Widmore and everyone who’s doing his dirty work.
And I was right, Jin is the one who’s doing to die. But whether he’s really dead or not is confusing. And Hurley coming to see Sun after the baby is born, is right before his crazy rampage that leads him back to the psyche ward.
Michael got to the freighter and gave them a fake name. He’s the man on the boat and has been communicating with Ben this whole time. Where’s Walt? Maybe he’s on the second island and Ben’s using the idea that Walt is back home to use Michael as a spy. I guess we’ll see next week, right?

Photo credit: brentdanley

For my school, I had taken on the volunteer job as an editor for the literary magazine. When the issue came to me in the mail this week, I noticed one small flaw in the editors’ list: my name was on two lines.
Firstname Middlename
Middlename Lastname
So much for making an impression on even the smallest of literary circles. I can’t very well own up to the idea of having two of me around.
But I wondered about how it is funny that all this time I wanted to be put in print somewhere other than the dinky, independent newsletters I’ve been published in years ago. (They took anything so, trust me, I couldn’t really feel proud of any of my poetry I submitted.) I decided to email the Editor in Chief and told her to write my ex-name as I had always intended on using for my pen name.
She apologized and assured me it would be written correctly in the next issue. I then proceeded to submit a couple stories for the next issue under the “right” name.
I called my mother and emailed Laura with the same message, “When they ask you, in fifty years, about me for my biography; make sure to mention that story.”

Then, that very night, after I “entered” my name as I had conceived it, I was watching Dominic Monaghan on Jay Leno and during his interview about his photo exhibit, he said my last name. (I think he’s on to me.)
I know he’s a 5′7″ (my height), fidgety, geeky guy but, damn, I still say, as I’ve been saying for years now; I’d propose to him if I ever saw him on the street. Not that he’d accept the offer but still, I may get lucky and he may be drunk when I ask him. {shrug} I go on and on about other celebrity guys that I like, and since Jack White is married already (even though I’m still keeping an eye out for the opening bid as his third wife) I’m going to have to go with the nerdy, British guy as my number one pick. I don’t know why. I just think he’s cute and he reminds me of the guys I usual pick out who can hang out to all hours of the night. Unfortunately, I would probably end up in divorce court over his skirt chasing, but, hey, that’s the risk I can take with any guy. At least with him I could talk to him when he was around. At least he wouldn’t be boring, that’s for sure. Sigh…

Anyway, it made me laugh to myself that after all my agonizing over who I am in the literary world and where I will end up, my name seemed to be as much of an art form as my writing. Plus, I was thinking about how this whole financial crisis I’ve ended up in and all of the debits that have accrued over a short period of time makes sense. Of course I’m going to have crappy things happen to me, otherwise, what the hell am I going to write about? If I were happy I wouldn’t feel compelled to get all of my aggression out every day. Maybe if I were too busy with some corporate, dead end job, I wouldn’t have the clear brain capacity to write anything and this is my big chance to utilize the time God’s given me. I think all of this happened for special reasons. There has to be a reason for everything and, Lord knows everything that seemed to be the most traumatic has pushed me in the right direction.

And speaking of direction, I talked to my professor again on the phone tonight to catch up on the two stories I sent to him a while ago. I have a couple of weeks to finish working on the longer piece (it may end up being a small book length) and the other short stories I want to add in for my final manuscript. I’m still not sure which one I’m better at; condensed, get in and get out, short stories or the longer, more moment-to-moment detailed prose. Maybe I can get away with both at some level. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Delores D. Monaghan. AmericanWriters.org, here I come!

Photo credit: tantrum_dan

Since my life is so full of pizazz lately, I’ve again sat to write, yet another, blog entry. That makes, what, one a day for three days. Wow.
During the weekends I’m no longer going out and drinking and doing whatever it was that I remember being fun at one point in my life and now I watch movies and do chores. I’m not complaining, mind you, I just want to make clear that my dry subject matter is evident only because I don’t have much else going on around here. Hence, I write blog entries that are about regular, day to day, menial things. I comment on my entertainment tastes and my simple life’s events. But I guess that’s what makes a blog, a blog, right?

Friday night I decided to save the envelopes that I received from Blockbuster available for the weekend days. If you get to sit around like I do on Saturdays and Sundays then you know all too well, as I do, that there is absolutely nothing interesting on television at all. Upon discovering my lack of interest in anything the some 100+ channels that cable can offer me, I fixed up my rental requests that you can see on my Facebook Movie Clique.

Saturday I watched Silk and I’m with the critiques on this one. It was beautiful and I’m sure the book was good but, man, when it was over I thought, “What a waste of my time.”
I love Michael Pitt and he’s the main reason I wanted to watch this to begin with, despite the low ratings it received. And I thought he did a fine job as an actor in this (not “sleepy” or “boring” as some critiques said.) But Keira Knightley’s character wasn’t even in the movie for more than about ten lines for most of it, so how am I suppose to feel any empathy for her or any feelings of a man discussing his regret over the sub-affair he had with his wife? There was just too much unexplained and disconnected.
Both characters were French, yet, they both had American accents (yes, Keira faked an American accent and appeared topless, which still didn’t save the movie, by the way.) The husband gives his wife a new garden which she plants full of lilies when they become rich from his silk egg trading but, then, when the whole town is poor, everyone pitches in to “restore” the garden and plant trees, but somehow “there was enough food for everyone.” Um…how? If they planted crops in their backyard, fine, but that was never explained. The metaphor for her garden and the richness of their love and prosperity didn’t work.
And who the heck is Beatrice and her husband who died? That’s fine that she serves at the house for the wife to have company, a child to watch after and some help with the chores but, why are we suppose to care about this? If Beatrice’s husband was the guy who use to work for the silk trader, who stopped speaking and then left, then I can see the connection with her husband and the main character but, again, without some explaining, I’m not gasping the significance.
Then there is the lust the husband has for a Japanese woman, or, as the Dutch gun trader who ends up (presumably) dead, she isn’t Japanese. He never has an affair with her and only sees during two visits, plus she can’t speak to him, but he wants to risk his life to save hers? I was thinking that in the book this is all probably a symbol for Western imperialism, wanting everything in the East that he can get his hands on and capturing it for his own but since this is never clearly fleshed out, again, I didn’t feel anything for the situation.
And the whole thing with the letter that supposedly his wife sent instead of the Japanese girl. The lady in Paris said that she translated it from English to Japanese for her but how did it end up with a postmark from Japan as he said it did when it first arrived? That made zero sense to me, unless she sent it through some other trader who was in Japan. I don’t get it.

Sunday, today, I watched Sylvia again. This was only the second, maybe third, time I’ve seen it since it came out in 2003. I liked it but I’m just not able to let Gwenyth Paltrow be Sylvia Plath. Since we know Paltrow as this high self-esteem movie star and Plath as a brilliant, mad, artist, the two paths just can’t cross. I think if they picked an actress with a lesser known persona, I could buy her as a darkly depressive poetess. But since I, as every other female on the planet my age, knows Plath inside and out, there are very high standards for how she would be played. I loved the way the movie looked and Daniel Craig did a great job as Ted Hughes and the chemistry the two had together was great. However I think someone else should have played the Plath. Maybe once someone gets the idea to make a movie about Assia Wevill now that Lover of Unreason has been published, (a book I still can’t get through, by the way) the three biographies can be shown a little better with different actresses and a different viewpoint to the whole love triangle.
I will say, thought, that Gwenyth Paltrow’s voice was suitable for the role. She has that clear, precise diction that Plath always had in her voice recordings.

And that’s it for updates. I have to send the movies back in the mail and buy cigarettes. It’s cold out again and I’m sitting here with my flannel penguin pajamas on. You can always tell a native Floridian from the tourists by the way they bundle up when the temperature drops below 70 degrees. Venturing outside is a sort of sport for us to experience the bit of seasonal change. I can’t imagine living again in 20″ of snow like it has been in Columbus. I think this is about as much cold as I can take so I stay indoors and do my household chores. The laundry is done now and the week is ahead. Not that I had anything special planned but you never know what things I may write.
That’s why I keep trying to hook in to some sort of inspirational media, be it books (right how I’m still reading Who Do You Love?) or movies about writing. It makes me think in a more literary sense, not to sound silly about it. It’s just that exposing myself to words being put together so nicely by one, gives me the openness of believing I can do it just as well, if not better. So many times I’ve heard people say that blog writing or journal writing is a waste of time, but I tend to disagree. Updating a blog is writing to an audience; a readership that all writers want to have in some way. I always find a sense of satisfaction in writing an entry. It’s not the same satisfaction of finishing a story, that’s true, but it’s still completing something and delivering something to the masses, even if it is in some tiny speck.
I don’t expect my premium blogging skills will make any mark on the world. (But I’m sure I’m not the only one who admits that they hope for just that; otherwise why would we be so interested in blog stats and ads and link sharing and networking to being with?) The same idea goes with writing published, paper material. There are millions of books out there and I can work and pray and hope that at least one of mine will be recognized as “good” among them. That’s why I don’t think having a blog is anything to snort at and neither is journal writing. I’ve heard so many people say that putting a lot of time and effort into a journal isn’t really work but I tend to disagree. Without my handwritten, private journal I wouldn’t be able to plot out every unabashed idea in my head and get the flow of forming the sentences for my stories or my essays. That’s just a piece of the whole puzzle. Not that I’m saying that solid, published, finely edited piece of work isn’t the trophy I’m running toward. It’s just that blogging about movies and books and music and stupid events in my life into one entry helps me form something literary that fits into the box of “short stories.” I take pride in all of it and I enjoy doing all of it, as do a lot of people who like the art of keeping a blog. If its purpose, above anything, is for personal satisfaction then it’s nothing to be scoffed at, in my opinion.

And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.

“Spinster” by: Sylvia Plath

Photo credit: mayr

All right, let’s talk about Lost.

First of all, I loved Desmond’s episode The Constant. It was wonderfully edited and it didn’t waste time. There was moment after moment that kept me engaged in everything that was happening. So now with that episode we get a good sense of how the Survivors are “trapped” in time or, as the enhanced version pointed out, “unstuck in time”, in reference to Slaughterhouse Five, one of my favorite books. I love them for adding that in.
So I’ll just run down the list of things we’ve talked about in email today:

Please do not waste my time with any more flashbacks about Juliet. I don’t care about her or how much Ben likes her. They could have talked about that in some little conversation and been done with it. Totally worthless episode.
Michael is probably the “man on their boat” and he never got back to the real world, but just stopped at the boat, told them what was going on and, hence, they got more information from him about everyone there. Whether or not Ben did this on purpose isn’t clear but he would know once Michael left, the closest thing would be that boat and he would stop there in hopes of a rescue.
They may also have Walt on “the second island” to test him. The fact that he is taller is just something they had to discuss because the actor grew up in between seasons.
However, the fact that past, present and future could all be happening at the same time would make sense as to why people can see those who are dead.
It also explains the polar bear fossilized and why Walt can show up whenever he wants…he apparently has special gifts that are connected to the time travelling ability. Maybe he can just do this one his own.
I like the theory that Walt is the one in the coffin who Jack goes to see and Walt’s ghost is the one who Miles talks to at the grandmother’s house. I’m totally buying that theory right now because Walt is key in all major events. Him being the catalyst for Jack’s guilt and need to return to the island would make perfect sense. So Walt would be one of the Six?
But I’m still confused about Claire. For starters she hasn’t shed a tear for Charlie since hearing he died for her, mind you. And now she’s willing to be a negotiator for Locke? I’m still not convinced that the Aaron that Kate has in the future is Claire’s Aaron. If she was told before the crash that she was the only one who could protect her son, then there is no way she would hand him over to Kate. Unless she dies and, honestly, I’m okay with that too.
It annoys the crap out of me that all the Survivors just go along with something without worrying about it. Yes, they’ve been stranded on an island for 90+ days, but just hopping in some strange old guy’s helicopter is just ridiculous. I mean, Sayid can handle himself, but Jack’s just sort of “Okay, no problem,” when he should be concerned.
Which brings me back to the whole time Jack was with The Others, hanging out with Juliet and Ben at those houses while Kate and Sawyer were prisoners. We stopped trusting Jack and then he redeemed himself by going against Ben and trying to get rescued. But no one talks about that shady time with Jack’s character, which makes me wonder if Ben told Jack that if he doesn’t hook up with Juliet and protects her, then he can leave the island. I think Jack has some info that he’s hiding to protect Kate and everyone else.
Charlotte needs to be shot. After she hit Kate over the head, she should have been shot.
And why isn’t anyone mentioning that weird look of recognition that Kate gave Charlotte when she first saw her and Faraday at the stream? It was a deliberate, odd, brief exchange of looks like, “Holy shit, it’s you!” But no one else is commenting on that so maybe it was suppose to be a look of “What are you doing?”
It’s been brought up as well that Locke is really looking weak and insecure by letting Ben lure him in the way he has been. Good point. I seriously doubt Ben is going to “tell you everything” with one Red Sox’s tape and a file about Penny’s father.
And what the hell was up with that anyway? Why would Penny’s father be spending money to find the island and then having someone (Desmond, who the hell is that blindfolded in the video?) beaten up killed? And who taped that in the first place?
And Ben lies! Where the hell are “his people” and The Others if that stupid widow of Goodwin can bring a message from Ben to Juliet, saying to stop Charlotte and Faraday? Are they on the “second island” and he’s still communicating with them without Locke knowing about it? I’m with Locke. I don’t trust Ben or Charlotte or Faraday (even though he and Desmond have to stay alive for one another now) or Miles or Juliet or Jack for “choosing” Juliet, or any of The Others. Obviously Locke is right about this and Jack is so freaking stubborn he just won’t listen to his instincts.

Anyway, I love that it at least seems to be coming together and we’re moving on into another phase of the story of the island survivors but, again, that damn Juliet episode last night made me stop feeling a real progression coming on. I’m still saying they’re going to do episodes, if not a whole season, of the Six back home and the ones they left behind on the island. Even if they don’t name Locke or Sawyer as one of the Six, it doesn’t mean they died.

Oh and one last thing…notice how there’s always something about Florida in this show?

Photo credit: mdumlao98